Communication Issues? Possibly Not

Words.
We use a lot of them. Some of us use more than we should. I am probably one of those people. I like to talk. Better, I like to make a point. Sometimes, I get really, really excited about making my point that I see how many words I can possibly string together to say what I think I need to say to make my point. In reality, I can make a point using concise statements but what fun would that be?

Words, placed in the right order, spoken a certain way can have a positive, powerful impact on conversation. Words, used poorly can have an equally negative impact on a conversation.

When this negative impact happens we often say we have "communication issues." Really the issue is that we didn't try hard enough to find the right words, or the right amount of words to help build a relationship or communicate instructions, directions, or news.

The challenge in the world we live in is not that we are not connected or that we do not want to communicate. Goodness, we have more means of communication available to us now more than ever before. People are connected and becoming more connected everyday. We have cell phones, I-phones, smart phones, blackberrys, and use all of those to update our facebook, myspace, twitter pages multiple times a day. We are more connected in our communication than ever before in the history of the world.

So why does it seem that we have so many "communication issues" within our organizations???

Could it be the words that we use? I believe it is. We take for granted that because we communicate so often that we communicate clearly. The amount of communication simply does not make up for the quality of the communication itself.

Have you experienced this challenge in communicating with people?
You don't need to adjust the methods you use. You may need to adjust the style and the words you use.

In coaching we use concise statements to help summarize or deliver a message to the person being coached. The concise statement is meant to clearly communicate what person being coached may already realize but is having a hard time putting into words.

Have you ever struggles putting words together?
Do you think you have communication issues in your organization?
What are some things that you might try to do differently to help with these challenges?
How might you go about making those changes?

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Communication - It's not you, it's me, really.....

Lately I have been struggling with communicating effectively with one specific individual. This struggle goes beyond my normal "oh I am sorry my mind wondered for a moment" fight that sometimes takes place between my ears and my brain. I am in a full blown struggle to understand and be understood. It's really quite terrible at times.

When relationships end you typically hear one party make the statement, "it's not you, it's me..." When I heard that at the end of a relationship I always thought what a nice way that was of saying, "I really can't stand to be around you anymore...hit the road." The difference is this is a relatively new relationship that I would like to cultivate.

The struggle to communicate effectively is felt by both of us. The communication barrier is being built one brick at a time as fast as possible by none other than yours truly. This is a case where it really is "me."

The person I am writing of is in a particular profession that I have had some serious issues with in the past. Notice, I say, profession, not person. The person, as I have gotten to know them is actually very likable. In fact, is very fun to be around and I do enjoy our casual conversations. But when we start talking about business, his profession and what he does, I grab my bricks and mortar and back to building the wall I go. All because of the preconceived ideas that I am carrying over to this person. Now, it's nothing illegal or weird, so that's not an issue. But this is a direct transference of something that happened a long time ago that I am placing on this person in the here and now. Wrong? of course it's wrong, I know that.

Now, you may think you would never do that or be that way with any one that you know, but I am willing to bet that at some point you have. I read recently in another friends blog about people running hot and cold with each other and how to perceive that and handle those mood changes. Those are changes in communication style that may be all about you and your perception and not the other party involved.

You may think that you are a great communicator, but do you harbor any type of feelings that become road blocks for effective communication? ANY TYPE, even the slightest issues can prevent you from achieving good communication with another person. I know I am beginning a process to work through this issue, in the meantime I will try not to use so much effort in building the wall between us and more time in getting over myself.

Thoughts on communication issues are welcome!