Lately I have been struggling with communicating effectively with one specific individual. This struggle goes beyond my normal "oh I am sorry my mind wondered for a moment" fight that sometimes takes place between my ears and my brain. I am in a full blown struggle to understand and be understood. It's really quite terrible at times.
When relationships end you typically hear one party make the statement, "it's not you, it's me..." When I heard that at the end of a relationship I always thought what a nice way that was of saying, "I really can't stand to be around you anymore...hit the road." The difference is this is a relatively new relationship that I would like to cultivate.
The struggle to communicate effectively is felt by both of us. The communication barrier is being built one brick at a time as fast as possible by none other than yours truly. This is a case where it really is "me."
The person I am writing of is in a particular profession that I have had some serious issues with in the past. Notice, I say, profession, not person. The person, as I have gotten to know them is actually very likable. In fact, is very fun to be around and I do enjoy our casual conversations. But when we start talking about business, his profession and what he does, I grab my bricks and mortar and back to building the wall I go. All because of the preconceived ideas that I am carrying over to this person. Now, it's nothing illegal or weird, so that's not an issue. But this is a direct transference of something that happened a long time ago that I am placing on this person in the here and now. Wrong? of course it's wrong, I know that.
Now, you may think you would never do that or be that way with any one that you know, but I am willing to bet that at some point you have. I read recently in another friends blog about people running hot and cold with each other and how to perceive that and handle those mood changes. Those are changes in communication style that may be all about you and your perception and not the other party involved.
You may think that you are a great communicator, but do you harbor any type of feelings that become road blocks for effective communication? ANY TYPE, even the slightest issues can prevent you from achieving good communication with another person. I know I am beginning a process to work through this issue, in the meantime I will try not to use so much effort in building the wall between us and more time in getting over myself.
Thoughts on communication issues are welcome!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Where have all the professionals gone?
This post is a bit of rant, but it has really been bothering me lately....
Recently a friend of mine sent an electronic mail inquiry to his HR Director regarding a new position that was soon to be available in his company. This was a new job, with a new job description within the department that my friend worked in. It was very public knowledge that this position was created and many in his department were already discussing who would be applying.
The reply was short and to the point and while it really didn't answer the questions presented in the email there was something else that really irked me when I read it.
The reply was signed simply with the first initial of the HR Directors first name.
That's it? There's all there was, no more.
The note was signed as you might sign a note to your best friend, golf buddy, spouse, etc. In my opinion, not the way a professionally trained human resources director representing a very large multi-division, publicly traded company signs a corporate email. This company is not small by any stretch and my friend is not the best friend, buddy, golf partner, etc. of the individual replying. He deserved better than that type of casual reply from a senior executive in his company.
This leads me to my question - Where have all the professionals gone?
I am a firm believer that casual Fridays have not only led to the downfall of professional looking people but to the downfall of professionally acting ones every day of the week. This is not really a rant on how people dress or what people wear in the workplace. In a former life I trained retail store employees on how to comply with a twelve (yes 12) page dress code. I am done with dress codes.
But this casual attitude in the workplace has contributed to professionals being too lax, too informal, and for too much unaccountability for individual actions, words, and performance.
We learn as business owners that we cannot befriend our employees or get too involved. We must stay at a professional distance so that we can maintain objectivity while evaluating performance. How can you possibly do that when you create and maintain a work environment that focuses on everyone feeling warm and fuzzy and being every one's buddy? When you are signing emails with just the first letter of your name?
There is nothing professional about signing an official company email in that manner. Even if company is huge, and by huge I mean billions in profit, crazy successful, making more money than the owner can possibly give away each year, I would doubt that any official type of correspondence would ever get signed with one initial.
We can't all work for Microsoft and wear jeans to work every day. Although there are some business owners that can do that, if you are just starting out, or working in any type of corporate environment you need to work, dress, act, and be professional. There are companies that have created casual environments but they have maintained standards and professionalism all along the way.
Going back to my question, where have all the professionals gone? I know they are out there, I know there are people that still like to dress and act in a certain way. I have seen them, they still walk among us. THANK GOODNESS!
Recently a friend of mine sent an electronic mail inquiry to his HR Director regarding a new position that was soon to be available in his company. This was a new job, with a new job description within the department that my friend worked in. It was very public knowledge that this position was created and many in his department were already discussing who would be applying.
The reply was short and to the point and while it really didn't answer the questions presented in the email there was something else that really irked me when I read it.
The reply was signed simply with the first initial of the HR Directors first name.
That's it? There's all there was, no more.
The note was signed as you might sign a note to your best friend, golf buddy, spouse, etc. In my opinion, not the way a professionally trained human resources director representing a very large multi-division, publicly traded company signs a corporate email. This company is not small by any stretch and my friend is not the best friend, buddy, golf partner, etc. of the individual replying. He deserved better than that type of casual reply from a senior executive in his company.
This leads me to my question - Where have all the professionals gone?
I am a firm believer that casual Fridays have not only led to the downfall of professional looking people but to the downfall of professionally acting ones every day of the week. This is not really a rant on how people dress or what people wear in the workplace. In a former life I trained retail store employees on how to comply with a twelve (yes 12) page dress code. I am done with dress codes.
But this casual attitude in the workplace has contributed to professionals being too lax, too informal, and for too much unaccountability for individual actions, words, and performance.
We learn as business owners that we cannot befriend our employees or get too involved. We must stay at a professional distance so that we can maintain objectivity while evaluating performance. How can you possibly do that when you create and maintain a work environment that focuses on everyone feeling warm and fuzzy and being every one's buddy? When you are signing emails with just the first letter of your name?
There is nothing professional about signing an official company email in that manner. Even if company is huge, and by huge I mean billions in profit, crazy successful, making more money than the owner can possibly give away each year, I would doubt that any official type of correspondence would ever get signed with one initial.
We can't all work for Microsoft and wear jeans to work every day. Although there are some business owners that can do that, if you are just starting out, or working in any type of corporate environment you need to work, dress, act, and be professional. There are companies that have created casual environments but they have maintained standards and professionalism all along the way.
Going back to my question, where have all the professionals gone? I know they are out there, I know there are people that still like to dress and act in a certain way. I have seen them, they still walk among us. THANK GOODNESS!
Friday, July 13, 2007
when the time is right....
As we have move into the heat of the summer I am thinking back to just a few weeks ago when it was Spring. We had such a nice Spring this year, one of the best I can remember.
This was my first Spring in the house that I live in now with a nice back porch. My husband has been working hard on the landscaping and creating the perfect backyard sanctuary. A family of robins thinks very highly of our back porch too and created a nest there this Spring. The babies have hatched, flown the nest, and until recently the nest sat empty in it's location.
What was interesting was watching the babies during the time they were getting ready to leave the nest. They were making one heck of a racket for a few days, chirping, eating, and flopping around. There were four of them so you can imagine how close they were living in that little nest. As the time came for the babies to leave, both the mother and the father appeared. Each taking their time to inspect their little ones. I am assuming this ritual is done to make sure that all of their hard work is not for nothing this Spring.
As each of the babies literally "flew the coop" I noticed that each took their time. One after the other perched themselves on the edge of the nest, took a leap and started feverishly flapping their wings. Experienced pilots they were not, but this was a fascinating sight. As the first three went through what appeared to be a pre-flight checklist with a parent looking on, we noticed the fourth baby not really doing to much but hanging back in the nest.
As the first three left the nest the fourth stayed put. We anticipated that the fourth baby would go soon after the first three. It was a period of days before the fourth bird finally took flight. All the while the parents were coming back to the nest coaching the baby along, making sure it was fed and cared for properly.
This experience with the babies and their nest made me think about all of us who have gone out on our own and started our own business. If you are contemplating starting a business, a career change, or trying something new, this applies to you too so think about this.
I have heard people say that they are waiting for the time to be right. The counter argument to that is if you keep waiting the time will never be right or perfect and you will never really be "ready." I get that a lot now on when my husband and I are going to start a family....."you can't wait for the time to be right for kids, it's never perfect." Yes, I know, I got it. The clock is ticking. Back to the birds.
Here is something to consider along with all of those great words of wisdom. Just like those baby robins needed some time to be mature enough or strong enough to leave the nest you need to need to be mature, strong, and prepared to start your new venture. You have the idea, passion, and you know what you want to do, now take a little bit of time to make sure you know how you are going to do it. There is a fine line we are walking here - so be careful about too much time.
You will never be fully ready or prepared for everything that comes at you in life or in business. It doesn't hurt to take time to make sure you are not going to fall flat on your face on your very first flight out of the nest. I am not suggesting that you not take the risk, I am a firm believer now in taking risks and leaps of faith. I am in the middle of a "leap" right now.
But if things are not going right for you in your job, you dislike what you do and you want to do something different think about that fourth robin sitting all alone in that nest after everyone else had left him. He had his coaches, consultants and other "peeps" their to support him but they left it up to him decide when it was time to jump. That's all I am asking, gather your information, then think about the leap you want to make.
It's important to know that any risk or jump will come with feverish flapping until you get a handle on things. It's better to be confident and prepared when the time comes to make the jump, as it makes the jump much more worthwhile and could mean the difference between falling flat on your face or a wildly successful flight.
This was my first Spring in the house that I live in now with a nice back porch. My husband has been working hard on the landscaping and creating the perfect backyard sanctuary. A family of robins thinks very highly of our back porch too and created a nest there this Spring. The babies have hatched, flown the nest, and until recently the nest sat empty in it's location.
What was interesting was watching the babies during the time they were getting ready to leave the nest. They were making one heck of a racket for a few days, chirping, eating, and flopping around. There were four of them so you can imagine how close they were living in that little nest. As the time came for the babies to leave, both the mother and the father appeared. Each taking their time to inspect their little ones. I am assuming this ritual is done to make sure that all of their hard work is not for nothing this Spring.
As each of the babies literally "flew the coop" I noticed that each took their time. One after the other perched themselves on the edge of the nest, took a leap and started feverishly flapping their wings. Experienced pilots they were not, but this was a fascinating sight. As the first three went through what appeared to be a pre-flight checklist with a parent looking on, we noticed the fourth baby not really doing to much but hanging back in the nest.
As the first three left the nest the fourth stayed put. We anticipated that the fourth baby would go soon after the first three. It was a period of days before the fourth bird finally took flight. All the while the parents were coming back to the nest coaching the baby along, making sure it was fed and cared for properly.
This experience with the babies and their nest made me think about all of us who have gone out on our own and started our own business. If you are contemplating starting a business, a career change, or trying something new, this applies to you too so think about this.
I have heard people say that they are waiting for the time to be right. The counter argument to that is if you keep waiting the time will never be right or perfect and you will never really be "ready." I get that a lot now on when my husband and I are going to start a family....."you can't wait for the time to be right for kids, it's never perfect." Yes, I know, I got it. The clock is ticking. Back to the birds.
Here is something to consider along with all of those great words of wisdom. Just like those baby robins needed some time to be mature enough or strong enough to leave the nest you need to need to be mature, strong, and prepared to start your new venture. You have the idea, passion, and you know what you want to do, now take a little bit of time to make sure you know how you are going to do it. There is a fine line we are walking here - so be careful about too much time.
You will never be fully ready or prepared for everything that comes at you in life or in business. It doesn't hurt to take time to make sure you are not going to fall flat on your face on your very first flight out of the nest. I am not suggesting that you not take the risk, I am a firm believer now in taking risks and leaps of faith. I am in the middle of a "leap" right now.
But if things are not going right for you in your job, you dislike what you do and you want to do something different think about that fourth robin sitting all alone in that nest after everyone else had left him. He had his coaches, consultants and other "peeps" their to support him but they left it up to him decide when it was time to jump. That's all I am asking, gather your information, then think about the leap you want to make.
It's important to know that any risk or jump will come with feverish flapping until you get a handle on things. It's better to be confident and prepared when the time comes to make the jump, as it makes the jump much more worthwhile and could mean the difference between falling flat on your face or a wildly successful flight.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Good Customer Service...eventually
On our recent camping trip we had a bit of an issue at the campground we stayed at. On our last night of tent camping a group of young men came in at 11:50 p.m. Yes, right when we were going to bed, in they rolled. They were up pitching tents, talking loud and celebrating our nation's Independence with some adult beverages. I am sure they were all "legal" but the more celebrating they did, the louder they got. On top of the celebrating they were attempting to pitch two tents straight from the boxes they just purchased them in from what looked like Cabelas. Picture tailgating at your favorite sporting event then add assembling two tents in the middle of it all. It really wasn't a pretty site or sound.
They had their car headlights, their camping lanterns, their flashlights and their loud voices bouncing all over the campsite into the wee hours of the morning.
As you will soon learn, I am a stickler for rules. I like rules. To me, rules provide the necessary guidelines to keep people from doing things that ruin things for other people, people like me. It just so happens that this campground had some pretty specific rules against doing all the things this group was doing. But at the time there was no enforcement.
As we checked out from the campground later that same morning I inquired about the rules and if what we had experienced was the "norm." We really liked the campground, location and amenities were nice and it was clean. Best showers and bathrooms we have ever had. It was just that one experience that was about to end any possibility of a return trip.
My inquiry about the night's events led to a long discussion, longer than what it needed to be with the manager of the campground. It seemed that others had complained as well. But it seemed to take a long time for the manager to see it from our point of view. As each camper checks in they are to sign off acknowledging these rules. Rules that are meant to be followed and will be enforced. Their lack of enforcement of their rules ruined our night. But the manager didn't want to listen. Didn't want to understand our concern.
Until we told him that we would not be coming back. You could see the attitude change on his face instantly. We were not longer whiny campers that couldn't handle a couple guys enjoying their summer break. We meant something. Money. Dollars. Sales. Bad Testimonials. Walking out the door. His door. His campground.
"Oh, it was that bad?" he said.
"Yes, that bad, we won't be back, it was that bad," I said.
He got it. He finally got it. He made us a couple offers for future discounts, stated he didn't want to lose our business and apologized for not responding and reacting to the issue. He assured us that those things are not typical for his campground.
Will we go back. Probably. We really liked the location. We would be willing to give it one more chance. We did get good customer service, eventually. It just took a lot of patience and explaining on our end. It should not have been that hard.
Makes me wonder though, why should it be so hard sometimes to get the service that we are promised from people that want our business? Getting good service, particularly after a bad experience shouldn't be, should it?
They had their car headlights, their camping lanterns, their flashlights and their loud voices bouncing all over the campsite into the wee hours of the morning.
As you will soon learn, I am a stickler for rules. I like rules. To me, rules provide the necessary guidelines to keep people from doing things that ruin things for other people, people like me. It just so happens that this campground had some pretty specific rules against doing all the things this group was doing. But at the time there was no enforcement.
As we checked out from the campground later that same morning I inquired about the rules and if what we had experienced was the "norm." We really liked the campground, location and amenities were nice and it was clean. Best showers and bathrooms we have ever had. It was just that one experience that was about to end any possibility of a return trip.
My inquiry about the night's events led to a long discussion, longer than what it needed to be with the manager of the campground. It seemed that others had complained as well. But it seemed to take a long time for the manager to see it from our point of view. As each camper checks in they are to sign off acknowledging these rules. Rules that are meant to be followed and will be enforced. Their lack of enforcement of their rules ruined our night. But the manager didn't want to listen. Didn't want to understand our concern.
Until we told him that we would not be coming back. You could see the attitude change on his face instantly. We were not longer whiny campers that couldn't handle a couple guys enjoying their summer break. We meant something. Money. Dollars. Sales. Bad Testimonials. Walking out the door. His door. His campground.
"Oh, it was that bad?" he said.
"Yes, that bad, we won't be back, it was that bad," I said.
He got it. He finally got it. He made us a couple offers for future discounts, stated he didn't want to lose our business and apologized for not responding and reacting to the issue. He assured us that those things are not typical for his campground.
Will we go back. Probably. We really liked the location. We would be willing to give it one more chance. We did get good customer service, eventually. It just took a lot of patience and explaining on our end. It should not have been that hard.
Makes me wonder though, why should it be so hard sometimes to get the service that we are promised from people that want our business? Getting good service, particularly after a bad experience shouldn't be, should it?
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Can working in your PJs really be work?
Can you really work well in your PJs?
I have been pondering this question for the last few weeks. Perhaps it's not so much that I want to work in my pajamas as much as it is I am wondering if I should have my office in my home.
Recently, I relocated my office to a building closer to home, no, not in my home, but my official office is in a building that I pay rent for in the town that I live in. I love the building and have great relationships with the people that work in the building. So there's no issue there.
But what keeps running through my mind is this. Does it matter where your office is these days? With the entire "World is Flat" concept that follows the idea that everyone is or can be connected no matter where they live or work through better technology...does it matter where in the world you work from?
In search of opinions on this topic I have started to ask around. I have started talking to a few people that I knew would have not only an opinion but a really darn good reason for their opinion. I have first posed this question to Networking Guru, Debby Peters. Debby was quick to answer my question...with a question. Don't you just love those?!
After explaining that this topic had come up from some of my clients and that I had been pondering it myself Debby was then quick to give her answer. "I tell people my office is in Perrysburg, which it is, it just happens to be in my home in Perrysburg." Contining on Debby explained that it was better for her business this way. She can keep her overhead costs down, pass on that savings to her clients and that she really doesn't keep "normal" office hours. Being a self proclaimed workaholic she can work anytime/all the time she wants from her home office then retreat within a few steps to her easy chair with her vast library to read.
Of course, Debby, the Networking Guru, is hardly ever in an actual office...she is out NETWORKING! Good answers from Debby for me to consider.
Moving on...I have posed this question to others but what are your thoughts on home offices?
Do they work?
If you have one, do you have any tricks to share about actually getting work done?
Have you recently moved from a home office to an actual rented/owned office space? Why?
Let me know your thoughts as I continue to ponder this myself.
I have been pondering this question for the last few weeks. Perhaps it's not so much that I want to work in my pajamas as much as it is I am wondering if I should have my office in my home.
Recently, I relocated my office to a building closer to home, no, not in my home, but my official office is in a building that I pay rent for in the town that I live in. I love the building and have great relationships with the people that work in the building. So there's no issue there.
But what keeps running through my mind is this. Does it matter where your office is these days? With the entire "World is Flat" concept that follows the idea that everyone is or can be connected no matter where they live or work through better technology...does it matter where in the world you work from?
In search of opinions on this topic I have started to ask around. I have started talking to a few people that I knew would have not only an opinion but a really darn good reason for their opinion. I have first posed this question to Networking Guru, Debby Peters. Debby was quick to answer my question...with a question. Don't you just love those?!
After explaining that this topic had come up from some of my clients and that I had been pondering it myself Debby was then quick to give her answer. "I tell people my office is in Perrysburg, which it is, it just happens to be in my home in Perrysburg." Contining on Debby explained that it was better for her business this way. She can keep her overhead costs down, pass on that savings to her clients and that she really doesn't keep "normal" office hours. Being a self proclaimed workaholic she can work anytime/all the time she wants from her home office then retreat within a few steps to her easy chair with her vast library to read.
Of course, Debby, the Networking Guru, is hardly ever in an actual office...she is out NETWORKING! Good answers from Debby for me to consider.
Moving on...I have posed this question to others but what are your thoughts on home offices?
Do they work?
If you have one, do you have any tricks to share about actually getting work done?
Have you recently moved from a home office to an actual rented/owned office space? Why?
Let me know your thoughts as I continue to ponder this myself.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Back in the swing of things....
The holiday is over and it's time to kick things into high gear this week and get back on track after the July 4th holiday. It seemed like everyone was taking some time off during the last week - so my husband and I decided to do the same thing.
We spent some time together just the two of us. Something that we have not done in a long time. We did something that we have never done alone together. We went tent camping. Just the two of us. We packed, actually I packed, all of the stuff and we hit the road. Watch here for updates on the trip and pictures!
YES - I am adding pictures to the blog. I figured out how to do it! Everyone keeps saying, "you need to add pictures!" So look out world - in the next few posts, there will be pictures.
OH - and for those who have been checking back to see if I have kept the blog updated daily like I said I was going to...it was hard to get a connection in the wilderness of northern Michigan. So you will just have to check back over the next week to get caught up. I have a very long list of blog topics that are just burning to be posted!
Enjoy the day!
We spent some time together just the two of us. Something that we have not done in a long time. We did something that we have never done alone together. We went tent camping. Just the two of us. We packed, actually I packed, all of the stuff and we hit the road. Watch here for updates on the trip and pictures!
YES - I am adding pictures to the blog. I figured out how to do it! Everyone keeps saying, "you need to add pictures!" So look out world - in the next few posts, there will be pictures.
OH - and for those who have been checking back to see if I have kept the blog updated daily like I said I was going to...it was hard to get a connection in the wilderness of northern Michigan. So you will just have to check back over the next week to get caught up. I have a very long list of blog topics that are just burning to be posted!
Enjoy the day!
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