In preparing for my Christian Coaching Training I received information regarding the follow up work that would be taking place after the initial training next week. In this information we are instructed to review a list of potential coaches that we could ask to be assigned as our mentor coach for the next few months of our training. Bios were provided and we are being asked to review them and decide next week who we might want to choose.
This exercise got me thinking about mentors. I have been blessed and honored to have some pretty cool mentors. I have also, somehow, gotten a hold of some pretty bad ones too. If you didn’t think it was possible to have a bad mentor believe me, you can. It has been a while since I have had a real mentor. Perhaps because of these previous bad experiences I never really pursued it and then when I did pursue “looking” for a mentor the people I picked turned out to be duds.
But now it seems mentors are coming out of the woodwork for me. I have a mentor for the church consulting work I am pursuing, I have a mentor for my school work, and now I will have a mentor for my coaching practice. I went from zero to three in less than three months!
At first I wasn’t too sure about the idea of adding more people into my life that would ask me questions and hold me accountable to do what I say I am going to do. I mean really, sometimes you think that those “people” just get in the way. They are always the ones that want to slow you down with the facts and reality of a situation when you would rather sail on down the road of life not being accountable and not worrying about facts and reality at all. Sure facts are important but do you really need to be reminded of them all the time?
The truth is that we do. All of us need to have these “people” (AKA mentors) in our lives. They prove to be a valuable resource for us when we need them the most and sometimes when we think we need them the least.
Mentors provide knowledge, wisdom, and the sharing of life experience that friends, family, co-workers and peers simply cannot. Mentors can come and go throughout your lifetime but the lessons that they teach remain with you forever.
One other key aspect of having a mentor is being a mentor. We all know that at some point in our lives we must give back. What better way than to share the knowledge, wisdom and lifetime of experience that you have gained than to be a mentor?
In closing I would like to add this. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes mentors, can be your heroes too. I would caution you though people make mistakes and even your mentors/heroes are not going to get it right all the time. So, unless you have a real dud for a mentor, cut them some slack to if they get it wrong and do not put too much pressure on them to be something that they are not.
I think I am pretty lucky right now…my mentors are fast becoming my heroes and I am pretty excited about that. Even as I squirm in the face of becoming more accountable I am fortunate to have these people in my life. I hope that someday soon I can return the favor.
Who are your mentors and heroes?
Are you becoming a mentor to someone else?
Should you be?
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
The rules are changing....
Business relationships are funny. Over the last month I have had some pretty unique things happen that have made me really start to reconsider some of my positions on business networking, referral relationships and building relationships among business peers.
Because of some really cool and awesome things going on in my professional as well as personal life I have been traveling more. My schedule fills up quickly with trips, meetings, seminars, school assignments and other life assignments that require my attention. Because I could foresee some of these things taking place earlier this year I made the decision to leave some networking groups and lessen my involvement in a few other groups that required more time and responsibility than I could give them. These groups made requirements of me that really didn’t help my business and made it almost impossible for me to pursue my personal mission and purpose for being on this planet. At the time I really didn’t feel any personal attachment to some of these groups. I did however remain in a couple of groups that I felt were based more on the relational ties I had with the individual members.
Recently, while traveling out of town, I received an email asking that I “resign” from one of these groups because I was not able to meet their attendance requirements. Apparently, I was letting down the entire group by not being there to support everyone else in their endeavors to improve themselves and their businesses. I was okay with the first part because to be honest – it was true, I had not been able to attend as I should have. But it was the last part that struck me as odd. I was not doing enough to support them. Uhmm….
I got to thinking, and reading, and listening. My inbox, text messages, facebook page and voicemail seemed to be filling up with the occasional message here and there from people wanting to know how things were going, where I was traveling to next and in general wishing me well and asking to get back together to “get caught up” as soon as I was back in town and had some free time. What I found most enlightening is that not one of these messages came from this group. The resignation email was the last communication I had from anyone in that group, so I must have really offended them by not supporting them enough. But that leads me to the question…how were they supporting me?
This got me thinking about how we build relationships with people and why we even involve ourselves in groups, organizations and professional networking clubs. This led me to the following questions…
What is our real purpose in becoming involved in groups and organizations?
Do we really need to be involved in multiple groups?
What is gained by the pressure that we put on ourselves to be “actively” involved in so many things?
How deep are the relationships that we are building when we are spending large amounts of time meeting requirements instead of really get to know each other?
I am becoming more and more critical of professional networking as it seems that it has become more and more centered on rules and requirements than on building relationships. It seems like we are desperately trying to participate just for the sake of saying “look at how good I am at being involved,” instead of building quality relationships with people that are genuinely interested in helping each other.
As things start to take shape in my coaching practice and this takes me in a new direction I am still going to be actively networking. I love meeting new people and talking with them about their mission and passion in life. But effective immediately I am throwing all the rules and requirements that I have learned about professional networking out the window and starting from scratch. The professional networking box is one that I don’t want to fit into any longer.
My only requirement now is that we be friends first, foremost and always. Oh yeah and I am requiring that you all get on Facebook and post to my wall every now and again and let me know how you are doing.
From this point forward – friendship and relationships are most important to me….I will let someone else worry about all the rules.
Because of some really cool and awesome things going on in my professional as well as personal life I have been traveling more. My schedule fills up quickly with trips, meetings, seminars, school assignments and other life assignments that require my attention. Because I could foresee some of these things taking place earlier this year I made the decision to leave some networking groups and lessen my involvement in a few other groups that required more time and responsibility than I could give them. These groups made requirements of me that really didn’t help my business and made it almost impossible for me to pursue my personal mission and purpose for being on this planet. At the time I really didn’t feel any personal attachment to some of these groups. I did however remain in a couple of groups that I felt were based more on the relational ties I had with the individual members.
Recently, while traveling out of town, I received an email asking that I “resign” from one of these groups because I was not able to meet their attendance requirements. Apparently, I was letting down the entire group by not being there to support everyone else in their endeavors to improve themselves and their businesses. I was okay with the first part because to be honest – it was true, I had not been able to attend as I should have. But it was the last part that struck me as odd. I was not doing enough to support them. Uhmm….
I got to thinking, and reading, and listening. My inbox, text messages, facebook page and voicemail seemed to be filling up with the occasional message here and there from people wanting to know how things were going, where I was traveling to next and in general wishing me well and asking to get back together to “get caught up” as soon as I was back in town and had some free time. What I found most enlightening is that not one of these messages came from this group. The resignation email was the last communication I had from anyone in that group, so I must have really offended them by not supporting them enough. But that leads me to the question…how were they supporting me?
This got me thinking about how we build relationships with people and why we even involve ourselves in groups, organizations and professional networking clubs. This led me to the following questions…
What is our real purpose in becoming involved in groups and organizations?
Do we really need to be involved in multiple groups?
What is gained by the pressure that we put on ourselves to be “actively” involved in so many things?
How deep are the relationships that we are building when we are spending large amounts of time meeting requirements instead of really get to know each other?
I am becoming more and more critical of professional networking as it seems that it has become more and more centered on rules and requirements than on building relationships. It seems like we are desperately trying to participate just for the sake of saying “look at how good I am at being involved,” instead of building quality relationships with people that are genuinely interested in helping each other.
As things start to take shape in my coaching practice and this takes me in a new direction I am still going to be actively networking. I love meeting new people and talking with them about their mission and passion in life. But effective immediately I am throwing all the rules and requirements that I have learned about professional networking out the window and starting from scratch. The professional networking box is one that I don’t want to fit into any longer.
My only requirement now is that we be friends first, foremost and always. Oh yeah and I am requiring that you all get on Facebook and post to my wall every now and again and let me know how you are doing.
From this point forward – friendship and relationships are most important to me….I will let someone else worry about all the rules.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Thinking Ahead....
Over the next few weeks I am going to be traveling extensively to places I have never been before. I am excited about what is in store and what it means to the growth of my business and my passion of helping individuals and organizations discover and live out their vision and mission.
I am wondering if the people that I will be working with over the next few weeks are as excited as I am. I tend to follow the Steven Covey "begin with the end in mind" axiom whenever I start a new project or begin a new endeavor. I can already begin to see the results of my work and know that what lies ahead will also produce some pretty big results. Over the next several weeks my business will begin to take shape in to the type of business that I really had a vision for. I never really lost sight of what could happen - but my lack of patience seems to get the better of me at times. But I was always thinking ahead to what I knew my work could be like and I never gave up on the vision.
There will be much more to come about this in the next several weeks and much of this today may not make sense but there are big things ahead. I hope that you are thinking ahead and have a vision for the big things that can come your way.
I am wondering if the people that I will be working with over the next few weeks are as excited as I am. I tend to follow the Steven Covey "begin with the end in mind" axiom whenever I start a new project or begin a new endeavor. I can already begin to see the results of my work and know that what lies ahead will also produce some pretty big results. Over the next several weeks my business will begin to take shape in to the type of business that I really had a vision for. I never really lost sight of what could happen - but my lack of patience seems to get the better of me at times. But I was always thinking ahead to what I knew my work could be like and I never gave up on the vision.
There will be much more to come about this in the next several weeks and much of this today may not make sense but there are big things ahead. I hope that you are thinking ahead and have a vision for the big things that can come your way.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Leaving a Legacy
In conversation the other day I was talking with someone about how to leave a legacy. Not because we were discussing death or any one's demise but because we were wondering for ourselves at our current age what our legacy was going to include. What are we doing in the world right now that will have a lasting impression long after we move on to the next thing that comes our way. We were also talking about how it seems that people do things for all the wrong reasons when it comes to serving or giving back. In many cases it's become about naming rites instead of giving and sacrifice.
People often think that they need to have a lot of money, be materialistically wealthy or have a place of great power and control to leave a legacy. That is not true. I think many of us know that we don't need all of these things in our life. We know that there are things that we can do everyday to leave a lasting legacy without it having to do with money or possessions.
What are the things that you can do or what are things that you are doing right now that can contribute and have a lasting effect on the world? This can take shape in many ways. You do not need to look far to see your legacy taking form right now.
It could be in how you raise your kids, or even better how you helped make the world better by helping children that are not even your own.
It could be that you helped your community or a community that you never lived in.
It could be that you are helping people that need more that what just giving them money can provide.
Think about how you live. Think about the people that you interact with. Think about the chances that you have everyday to leave the world a better place. Think about giving hope to those that may not even know hope is possible.
You don't have to write big checks, you don't need to be in a position of power.
You don't need to have a building named after you to leave a legacy.
One person.
One day.
One thing that you do can change and leave the world a better place....forever.
Now that's how you leave a legacy.
People often think that they need to have a lot of money, be materialistically wealthy or have a place of great power and control to leave a legacy. That is not true. I think many of us know that we don't need all of these things in our life. We know that there are things that we can do everyday to leave a lasting legacy without it having to do with money or possessions.
What are the things that you can do or what are things that you are doing right now that can contribute and have a lasting effect on the world? This can take shape in many ways. You do not need to look far to see your legacy taking form right now.
It could be in how you raise your kids, or even better how you helped make the world better by helping children that are not even your own.
It could be that you helped your community or a community that you never lived in.
It could be that you are helping people that need more that what just giving them money can provide.
Think about how you live. Think about the people that you interact with. Think about the chances that you have everyday to leave the world a better place. Think about giving hope to those that may not even know hope is possible.
You don't have to write big checks, you don't need to be in a position of power.
You don't need to have a building named after you to leave a legacy.
One person.
One day.
One thing that you do can change and leave the world a better place....forever.
Now that's how you leave a legacy.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tips to Not Getting Sucked In....
I consider myself to be a nice person.
Too nice.
I am always getting myself involved in something that usually ends up being a time killer for me, taking me away from what I really should be doing.
Actually, I used to be that way. Over the past few years I have been cautious in where I commit my time. So I made huge improvements in not letting myself get involved in time killers.
I make an effort to not get sucked in.
Sure there are times when you need to help a friend, business associate, family member or another important person in your life and that should always take precedence.
Are there things that you can do to make sure that when those types of things come up, you can help without feeling like you got sucked into something that you never should have gotten involved in to begin with? I have a found a few things that work to help from getting sucked in.
When reviewing a project, program, or organization to get involved in consider the following:
Does it fit with your personal mission and vision for where you are and the direction you are heading with your business, life, family?
Do you need to take time to develop some new talent or skill or does it naturally fit with a talent and skill you already posses?
Are you passionate about this?
Will this help you grow in the right relationships with the people that you want to be in relationship with. (it never hurts to meet new people, but sometimes new people can steal more time for the wrong reasons)
Do you fully understand what is required of you?
Is there a time commitment?
Are you fully aware of what the time commitment will mean to other commitments already existing in the life you live?
Is this something that fulfills a purpose or passion in your life that you have always wanted to explore?
Is your involvement based on the involvement of other friends, family, co-workers? Do they understand the commitment???
Asking the above questions will help you determine if signing on to a new program or project can lead you to success and help avoid you just being sucked in.
Too nice.
I am always getting myself involved in something that usually ends up being a time killer for me, taking me away from what I really should be doing.
Actually, I used to be that way. Over the past few years I have been cautious in where I commit my time. So I made huge improvements in not letting myself get involved in time killers.
I make an effort to not get sucked in.
Sure there are times when you need to help a friend, business associate, family member or another important person in your life and that should always take precedence.
Are there things that you can do to make sure that when those types of things come up, you can help without feeling like you got sucked into something that you never should have gotten involved in to begin with? I have a found a few things that work to help from getting sucked in.
When reviewing a project, program, or organization to get involved in consider the following:
Does it fit with your personal mission and vision for where you are and the direction you are heading with your business, life, family?
Do you need to take time to develop some new talent or skill or does it naturally fit with a talent and skill you already posses?
Are you passionate about this?
Will this help you grow in the right relationships with the people that you want to be in relationship with. (it never hurts to meet new people, but sometimes new people can steal more time for the wrong reasons)
Do you fully understand what is required of you?
Is there a time commitment?
Are you fully aware of what the time commitment will mean to other commitments already existing in the life you live?
Is this something that fulfills a purpose or passion in your life that you have always wanted to explore?
Is your involvement based on the involvement of other friends, family, co-workers? Do they understand the commitment???
Asking the above questions will help you determine if signing on to a new program or project can lead you to success and help avoid you just being sucked in.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Routines
What is it about changes in our routine that makes us want to run for the hills and hide in a cave?
It seems that I am bound and determined to go through each and every day totally different from the previous day.
I used to have a routine. Stuff I did at the same time every day. Each day of the week. Now, not so much.
Are things out of balance?
Are the wheels coming of the cart?
Are the monkeys that secretly help me direct my ship all jumping overboard?
No...I don't think so.
I think it's that this is the day and age we live in. My life, your life, the life of those around you may never be subject to routine again. And I think that's okay.
It's okay if Monday is different from Tuesday which is definitely different from Saturday or Thursday. It's really okay if you thought you could do the same things at the same time each day and now realize that you can not.
I think we need to stop worrying so much about getting into the routine of living everyday and go about just living everyday.
Sure we need to plan and make lists and check things off of lists. That just common sense. But I don't think we need to plan, plan, plan every single day down to the minute.
A little secret about a change in my routine....
I used to routinely, without fail, write all of my appointments, contacts, notes and task lists down in my Franklin Planner. I recently got a new Palm Smart phone. While the smart phone does make me feel, well, less than smart at times, it has become a great tool to get me out of my routine. I use it now for everything, all of my appointments, calendar, contacts, oh yeah and it's a cell phone too. I don't have to carry my planner anymore. This has lightened my load a great deal in the briefcase.
My new routine though...remembering to sinc the phone! (ok, so there is a catch) but it was a nice move on my part to push me into getting more into the technology age that we are living in. Pushing the boundaries and barriers of my routine has turned out to be a great learning experience.
Are there barriers and boundaries that are holding you back in the form of a routine. Is there a change that you should try? What can you do to push yourself beyond being reliant on a daily routine?
It seems that I am bound and determined to go through each and every day totally different from the previous day.
I used to have a routine. Stuff I did at the same time every day. Each day of the week. Now, not so much.
Are things out of balance?
Are the wheels coming of the cart?
Are the monkeys that secretly help me direct my ship all jumping overboard?
No...I don't think so.
I think it's that this is the day and age we live in. My life, your life, the life of those around you may never be subject to routine again. And I think that's okay.
It's okay if Monday is different from Tuesday which is definitely different from Saturday or Thursday. It's really okay if you thought you could do the same things at the same time each day and now realize that you can not.
I think we need to stop worrying so much about getting into the routine of living everyday and go about just living everyday.
Sure we need to plan and make lists and check things off of lists. That just common sense. But I don't think we need to plan, plan, plan every single day down to the minute.
A little secret about a change in my routine....
I used to routinely, without fail, write all of my appointments, contacts, notes and task lists down in my Franklin Planner. I recently got a new Palm Smart phone. While the smart phone does make me feel, well, less than smart at times, it has become a great tool to get me out of my routine. I use it now for everything, all of my appointments, calendar, contacts, oh yeah and it's a cell phone too. I don't have to carry my planner anymore. This has lightened my load a great deal in the briefcase.
My new routine though...remembering to sinc the phone! (ok, so there is a catch) but it was a nice move on my part to push me into getting more into the technology age that we are living in. Pushing the boundaries and barriers of my routine has turned out to be a great learning experience.
Are there barriers and boundaries that are holding you back in the form of a routine. Is there a change that you should try? What can you do to push yourself beyond being reliant on a daily routine?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
On Line Networking
It's been quite some time for me to post. There's been a lot going on and I guess I totally left behind the entire idea of why you have a blog to begin with...to tell people how busy you are. I am getting ready for some big trips and some big coaching thigns are on the horizon. It will be interesting to see how all of this plays out through the end of the year.
I wanted to take a moment to chat a bit about online networking. I have been spending alot of time on facebook. Probably too much time on facebook, but I have made some interesting connections there. In my upcoming travels I will be leveraging some of those new friends and taking the opportunity to meet with them and do some business. People I have never met and didn't even know...now have become linked to me and can be valuable resources.
Online networking is good too because I do not have to be any where at any specific time to do it. And I like that...I like that alot.
So tell me, what is your favorite on line networking site...facebook? myspace? linked in?
Which one works best for you and why?
I wanted to take a moment to chat a bit about online networking. I have been spending alot of time on facebook. Probably too much time on facebook, but I have made some interesting connections there. In my upcoming travels I will be leveraging some of those new friends and taking the opportunity to meet with them and do some business. People I have never met and didn't even know...now have become linked to me and can be valuable resources.
Online networking is good too because I do not have to be any where at any specific time to do it. And I like that...I like that alot.
So tell me, what is your favorite on line networking site...facebook? myspace? linked in?
Which one works best for you and why?
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